For a long time, I had the idea for Own Your Midlife in the back of my mind.
I thought about starting the podcast. I imagined what I wanted it to sound like and the kinds of conversations I wanted to have.
But I didn’t start it. If I’m honest, I think part of me was waiting for someone to tell me I was ready. Maybe you’ve done this too. You have an idea you keep returning to, but you tell yourself you’ll act on it when you feel more confident. When life settles down. When you have more time, more money, or more support.
It can feel like you’re being careful. But here’s what I eventually realized: Not betting on yourself is also a bet. It’s just a bet against yourself.
WHAT I DIDN’T REALIZE I WAS WAITING FOR
I don’t think I consciously believed someone was going to show up and give me permission to start a podcast. But underneath all the planning and thinking, that’s kind of what I was doing. I was waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say:
“Okay, Susie. Go ahead. It’s your turn.” Of course, no one came. There was no official green light. There was no perfect moment when I suddenly felt fearless and completely prepared. Eventually, I had to decide that the idea mattered enough to begin before I knew exactly how everything would work out.
I had to bet on me. I wish I could tell you that confidence arrived first, but it didn’t.
The decision came first. The action came first. The confidence started catching up later. That’s something I understand differently now:
You don’t always feel ready and then begin. Sometimes you begin, and that’s what helps you become ready.
WHY THIS FEELS DIFFERENT IN MIDLIFE
Midlife has a way of making you look at time differently.
You realize how quickly the years have passed. You recognize that your parents were once the age you are now. And the things you’ve been putting off start to feel less like “someday” and more like a question:
If not now, when?
That doesn’t mean you have to panic, quit your job tomorrow, or make a huge life decision without thinking it through. Most women in midlife have real responsibilities.
There may be children, bills, aging parents, health concerns, or people who depend on you. Taking a risk now can feel very different from taking one at 25.
But you’re also bringing something to the table that you didn’t have at 25. You know yourself better. You have more life experience. You’ve lived long enough to recognize what you don’t want anymore. You’ve made it through hard things before.
You are what you are bringing to the table.
WE BECOME SO GOOD AT SHOWING UP FOR EVERYONE ELSE
I think this is part of why betting on yourself can feel so unfamiliar. Many women become really good at betting on everyone else.
We support our partners. We encourage our children. We help our friends. We care for our parents. We show up for work and handle what needs to be handled. And there’s nothing wrong with loving people and being dependable. But somewhere along the way, we can quietly remove ourselves from our own list.
It doesn’t usually happen all at once. You put one thing off because somebody needs you. Then another. You stop making room for the ideas that excite you. You tell yourself that maybe this is simply how life is now.
And one day, you may find yourself wondering, wait, where did I go? Betting on yourself isn’t about abandoning the people you love. It’s about remembering that you still have a self, and that she is worth showing up for too.
WHAT BETTING ON YOURSELF CAN LOOK LIKE
Betting on yourself doesn’t have to begin with a huge, dramatic decision. For me, it meant finally starting the podcast I had been thinking about for so long. For you, it may look completely different.
It might mean applying for something before you feel fully qualified. It could mean asking for more support, better boundaries, or fair compensation. It may mean admitting that you’ve outgrown a job, relationship, habit, or old version of yourself, even if you aren’t ready to make an immediate change.
Or it could simply mean saying the thing you want out loud for the first time. The point isn’t to be reckless. The point is to stop pretending that staying where you are carries no risk. Because not trying has a cost too.
It’s quieter, but it often sounds like, what if I had gone for it? What if I had trusted myself? What if I had stopped waiting for someone else to choose me?
THE QUESTION I WANT YOU TO ASK YOURSELF
What is the bet you’ve been afraid to place? What is the idea that keeps coming back, even after you’ve talked yourself out of it? Maybe you don’t need to make a huge change today. Maybe your next step is simply to write the idea down.
Research what it would require. Send one email. Reserve one hour on your calendar.
Tell one trusted person. Or just admit to yourself that you really do want it.
Sometimes choosing yourself begins with no longer pretending that you don’t.
You’ve spent years showing up for other people. Your ideas, needs, and future deserve some of that support too. You don’t need to know exactly how everything will turn out before you take yourself seriously.
You’ve been betting on everyone else long enough. Maybe it’s time to bet on you.
Small steps lead to big impact. It’s your life, so go out there and own it.
WANT TO HEAR THE FULL CONVERSATION?
Listen to “Playing It Safe in Midlife? It’s Time to Bet on You” on the Own Your Midlife podcast.
You’ll hear more about why I waited so long to begin, what betting on myself has looked like, and the question that may help you recognize where you’ve been playing it safe.